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haha hey. [Tuesday,
April 4th, 2006]
[ mood | happy ]

am i posting on lj? i am!

how strange.

Love it or leave it.

pictures yay [Friday,
June 3rd, 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

i look like i have a broken noseeeeeee ^


hi i hate being trendy but whatdayaknow.

jon in his cool little ATV pants.

takin the range rover L3 up the hill.  it was effin exciting!

i don't effin know whats happening here.  and YES thats a car seat!!!  we're ultra ghetto.

ATVing gets ya real dirty.

my sexy artie.

my sexy aaron and my sexy artie.

my bday.  BENIHANASSSSSSSS yum. 

ok cool.

look at how cool i am.

look.  still cool.

i like this pic ok?  ok. 



GOOD BYE JUNIOR YEAR.  i will NOT miss you.  ok bye.

[9] Love it or leave it.

May 7th, 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

Jesse Metcalfe (The gardener that gabriel is having an affair with on desperate housewives) is gonna be at granada at 5:30 tonight..
Along with The Goodfellas, some guy from One Tree Hill, and a bunch of other celebreties.

$10 at the door, be there at 4!

*edit: jk.

[6] Love it or leave it.

May 2nd, 2005]

prom was funn.  expect pics soon.  peace.

[4] Love it or leave it.

hey i had a good day [Monday,
April 18th, 2005]
[ mood | exhausted ]

i liked today a lot.  well anyway.. look wtf i made.  website visited courtesy of  smitten00kitten

im me if u want to see the one i made of jonathan.  oh and make one here

the only 16 year old that's sexier than iCollapse )




[4] Love it or leave it.

April 17th, 2005]
[ mood | weird ]

i need some mature people in my life. i'm surrounded by people who arent at my level. it's really annoying and i wish people would not be so jealous of me. i don't try to be better than you. i'm just myself. sorrry but cmon get over it cuz its ruining shit for you. it really is. watever tho i'm soooo over it. haha i also love how people wanna talk just like me and use all my sayings. it's cute and it flatters me. hmmm i'm talking to jonathan. he's says "i'm an immature idiot that you hate but i'm trying to change." yea he's knows he's included in this. k bye fuck heads :)

i love brian he's my bgffl!!!

i wanna do something today. it's so damn sunny i love it. yay!

[6] Love it or leave it.

April 15th, 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

mmm i'm happy. things are not perfect, of course, but i love that i can be happy in spite.

jonathan's dad accepts. and omgooodness. i couldn't feel better about it. describing me to his father made him cry. in front of his dad. and i'm thrilled.

my teeth hurt and it excites the hell out of me because i know im getting closer to the glorious day that they come off.

yay i have my prom dress (courtesy tiffany nicole jett) and it's at the cleaners as u read. me cited.

i'm in love with catcher in the rye. i am exactly like Holden Caufield. i bet he's so hot. ugh i have crushes on like 93497391843 people. eeeeeek.

i love cheer now. i love that things are changing cuz now we're actually going to do stuff at games and look decent. i'm so glad i'm open-minded enough to appreciate change. ::sigh::

i have no point in updating. im just doing it. enjoy!

[6] Love it or leave it.

i started at jamba juice today! [Monday,
April 11th, 2005]
[ mood | optimistic ]

k so jonny took me on a date this saturday. it was pretty crazy. it was as much of a date as he could make it.. he paid, he was sweet, haha but jaycie drove. it was fun though with all of us. it gave jaycie a chance to see why i fell in love with the loser. ugh i'm just nervous. but otherwise things are great. i believe him when he tells me he loves me. i do. but i'm scared that he is only a kid who doesn't know a thing. i think i might be right, too. and that sucks that i have to be so much smarter than he. ;) well whatever. God's on my side and I'm a little smarter and stronger than before. so wish me luck.

in love and walking on egg shells,

happy bday mommie.

April 7th, 2005]
[ mood | nervous ]

hi there. these are excerpts from a letter jonathan wrote to his father. im not posting it entirely because some things are too personal. i'm just thankful he's realized his mistakes and is fighting for me. enjoy.

"Im writing to you because I want to let you know whats going on in my life... First of, the biggest thing that is happening right now is that I "cheated" on the girl that I love who is nicole. i know that you don't respect her, but dad i love her I don't pick my feelings. I wish you could respect her just the way i have respected your relationships. I made a mistake by throwing her away. She did a lot for me. She has put up with a lot and all she wanted was to be accepted... Dad I love you and I want you to get to know Nicole. She is funny, smart, and talkative. Everything you love in all of your friends! We have been seeing each other since 7th grade. And when its my birthday or theres a big event Nicole should be the first thing to pop into ur mind becuase in a way she is a part of me. Honestly I dont think you have given her a chance to show you who she is because I KNOW you will love her like i do. She is a wonderful person and she has helped me out so much. We got along so good we have so much in common because we have grown up together. She loves cars just as i do. i tell her about the M3 and she thinks it's so cool but she knows she will never ride in it becasue you dont care for her. Anything she ever did to get you mad was done to get closer to me. She lost your respect by trying to see me and call me. How can you be angry with someone who only loved your son so much? She respects you and she wants you to see who she really is. She always talks about that one night we all went to Hollywood on Halloween and she felt so good she felt that you cared and that you supported us and i respected you for seeing into her and seeing her inside beauty even after all the things you were mad about. I really feel that Nicole and I have a future together. we have been together for ages and i'd be half of who i am without her. i wake up thinking about her. i think about her throughout the day and i go to bed thinking about her as well. She has put up with me not being able to go out or talk to her and she is still here for me. my god these thoughts make me want to cry to think that i've lost her. I want her to be able to come over for no reason, just to hang out to spend time like last time when we watched t.v. and ate in-n-out and teased each other. she loves desperate housewives and nip/tuck like us. she is so perfect for me. if you accepted nicole and allowed her to be a part of your life dad, i truly think you'd wake up each day a little happier than before because she does that. she is so bright. your life will never be the same. everyone who knows her and gets over their jealousy for her falls in love dad. it's your turn. i love you dad and i want you to help me to help her understand my feelings for her. i need you to be by my side in trying to win her back..."

sorry it's so long. but i cried so hard. not many of you will understand the impact of this. but it's pretty monumental. it's so sad though that it had to be after everything he did to me. mmm i love him still so dearly, and like jon said, "i can't stop my feelings."

k thanks for reading.

[32] Love it or leave it.

kenneh! [Sunday,
April 3rd, 2005]
[ mood | bouncy ]

wow today i hung out with my friend kenny today!!  today was chill...  i got in a bad ass mood today.  some fuckin bull shit.  then i ate... met up with kenny and kyle (zach hahaha) then i was drivin with my brother and kenny and jaycie and kyle followed and we had no destination.  i was like fuck it we'll go to o'melvany park right?? so were drivin and who other than brian gonzalez and armen are driving in front of us.  so brian jumps into the car and we go to the park.... we busted a fuckin mission!!!!  we took a damn hike through all these damn mountains hahaha how fuckin random. but i had fun.  it was cool as helll!!!  dam im soo sad i have school tomr or i could still be out havin fun.  school = burn.  k im tired and im gonna go watch anchorman.  ♥ nikkkki 


p.s.  i wish i could be really happy forever, don't you?

p.s.s.  brian is fuckin making me feel like shit right now he's telling me how ugly i am and how i put a spell on all my ex boyfriends to make them go out with me.      should i stab him?  k bye.

[6] Love it or leave it.

hello, i'm desperate. [Sunday,
April 3rd, 2005]
[ mood | crappy ]

gosh i hate the feeling that i'm not good enough. i KNOW there are awesome things about me. but fuck sometimes it's questionable. i feel down. i love my brother. he makes me smile. i just want to be fucking happy. please. i either want to have him 100% and be happy or just for him to get the hell out of my life and be over him 100%. i make no sense right now and i can tell that i'm babbling. im soo scared.

if you love me, comment and tell me why. i'd like to know why other people think im great, if they do.


[19] Love it or leave it.

March 29th, 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

talk to ppl in ur gotdamn neighborhood and find all the bitchin parties.  ok let's cut to the fucking chase... click the picture and do something that should've already been done.  join mother fuckers.  ok?  greattt.

[1] Love it or leave it.

March 27th, 2005]
[ mood | blessed ]

my depressed post a while back about "not a soul understanding how bad it hurts to lose jon" got an anonymous comment. it touched me soo deeply that after reading the first sentence i started to cry. SORRY THAT MY PAST FEW POSTS HAVE BEEN SAD! all of this hurts like a bitch and i have a feeling it's only going to get worse and im just trying to cope. ANYWAYS.. i wanted to share with you this post. i appreciate angels, thats y. thanks for reading ppl and i want to thank my dear friends amanda, lyndsey, smo, jaycie, kaleen, andrea, kenny, erin, hunter, shell my belle, lindsey, and of course my anonymous angel. sorry to be so damn sappy but i really appreciate you all. with such a deep passion that i just want to cry. i love you guys.

Hey Nicole,

You don't know me but I'd just like to comment and let you know how much I admire you. Most girls in this condition would totally break down and go crawling back to the horrible brute that hurt them. I think it's amazing how strong you are and how you manage to stay true to yourself throughout the whole ordeal. Plus you hit the pig, that makes you automatically awesome in anyone's book :). I had a similar breakup, even though my relationship wasn't as long, my idiot ex left me for someone way younger and with the intelligence of a sack of rocks. I wish I was as strong as you were because it would have made everything so much easier to cope with.

Anyway this is just a pick me up to let you know that someday you'll meet your prince charming and that Jonathon is going to regret the day he hurt Nicole Stetter.

[17] Love it or leave it.

March 24th, 2005]
not a soul... not a damn soul knows what it's like. i gave someone 4 years of my life. i gave them every inch of me. every damn thing i possibly could. i got boring. god that burns so bad. if i could lay in bed for the rest of high school i would. god send me an angel. nothing ever hurt so bad. i hope i can find it in me to move on. god bless me.
[12] Love it or leave it.

im kinda hyper [Tuesday,
March 22nd, 2005]
[ mood | hyper ]

so today.. just a few things i want to shareee.

1!@#$% i just had a good ass dinner including, steak, baked potatoe, glass of wine, and some cake.
2!@#$% some girl came over and gave my brother a cake
she had baked for him that said "get well soon." he's a pimp.
3!@#$% i have a tiny crush on a 14 year old from colorado.
4!@#$% im a great friend and i baked hot pockets for my pals jack, brian, and bryan.
5!@#$% jaycie smells like a bag of shit that has been lit on fire. she's also a pimp.

k GIMME LIKE 974190735019374137 COMMENTS!!! comment like 40 times. hehehe <3


[17] Love it or leave it.

hello darlings... [Monday,
March 21st, 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

well things have been going okay lately. jonathan and I are going through things that anyone could hardly grasp. but to all of you cute little gossipers out there... no i'm not getting back with him. it's hard when you love someone though. but.. he really just didn't care about me for a long time. so anyway... sadie hawkins dance was not fun. like a 1 out of 10. haha but here's some pics anyway!!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
[22] Love it or leave it.

california love. [Sunday,
March 13th, 2005]
[ mood | okay ]

<>this weekend was pretty fun.  i'm in need of something more fun though.  i miss my old days.  i got ready and almost had shit to do.  luckily kaleen came and we went out.  hmmm yes i hope next weekend is better.  but i cant expect anything.  thanks bye.








<> PICTURE MEMOS (in order of appearance):  1. staring.  2. lean back, cutie.  3. cheese.  4. how does this work?  5. clutter is life.  6. huh?  7. mmm ok.


practice in a little over an hour. oooooh suprises!!  oh how i love cheer!!  no crap talkin here!  X*

[21] Love it or leave it.

tonite tonite tonite [Saturday,
March 12th, 2005]
[ mood | hyper ]

i wanna do something fun tonight.  but nothing strikes me.  nothing grabs me.  there's another party at the same house as last night's.. but i wonder if it's gonna be fun or raided all quick.  hmm.  well call me if you wanna do something.  hey wanna see the two sexiest things in life?? k look....

lotus espirit... my mother fucking goodness.  it just leaves me speechless.  i'd get it in that same color too.  and i'd just force myself to love orange becuase it's just so damn graceful-looking.  i just want one touch...

and of course my sloppy ass.  =) for some reason the word sloppy came to mind when i saw this pic i dunno y.  my lovely kaleen sonya valdivia took this of me.  wat a doll. 

ptfo.  lovers.


wellll im doing pretty good.  things are hard and its difficult as hell to watch jonathan suffer like i did.  i hate to hurt him.  but what can ya do?  sorry kiddo.  oh and rather than judge me (not saying that i know for sure if anyone is) why don't you just im me and ask me.  tastyillasstramp = sn.  k bye =*

[14] Love it or leave it.

March 7th, 2005]
[ mood | fuck you ya faggot ass. ]

hey wow. jonathan, you are soooo over. i'm feelin a little crushed but i can get through anything. it's good to see who my true friends are and how gay other people can be. ahhh i love shell and dee. much.

i want to go shopping. i need shoes. i need a job. i want a vw r32 real bad.

myspace is a better lover and lj is being neglected. sorrry.

damn jonathan. you are quite amazing. all i can say is WOW. what a regretful kid you're going to be. keeep crying. i feel sick.

[6] Love it or leave it.

bye bye :( [Sunday,
March 6th, 2005]

so today is cheer banquet.  the official last day of junior varsity 2004.  we were the shit.  im gonna miss it.  that was some fun ass shit.  we were so close.  i love you guys.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 jv.


[6] Love it or leave it.

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